My Weekend Project

Advances in the Sandwich Arts

2006-04-07T03:58:00.000-07:00

Since every step humanity takes down the road toward tastier sandwiches is a cause for celebration, let us rejoice! For I have made a new sandwich, and it is good. Maybe you can help me think of a name for it.

1. Fry up some shredded potatoes in plenty of oil. Throw a bunch of garlic salt and garlic-friendly seasoning in there.

2. When the hash browns are about done, throw a few slices of leftover pork roast in the pan with them for a couple of minutes, to warm them up.

3. Take two sturdy slices of bread (the sturdier the better - the hash browns are going to be dripping oil) and slather mayonnaise on one of both of them.

4. Carefully arrange the pork slices and hash browns between the slices of bread.

5. EAT. Be sure to have a bunch of napkins handy.

Yeah. That was really good. It might have been even better if I'd had some green peppers to fry up with the potatoes; maybe I'll try that next time.

The Graves Jewel Report

2006-01-21T15:05:00.000-08:00

Are you all aware of the fact that Pepperidge Farm is now making Chocolate-Dipped Cookies? As in their usual cookies, half-dipped in chocolate? I saw Chessmen, Chocolate Chunk, and those soft double-chocolate brownie ones.

When did I get back from Jewel? Oh, about a half an hour ago. And how many of those cookies have I eaten already? That would be half of the bag. I'm sorry, but with Pepperidge Farm cookies, one section is a serving size for me, and I don't make an exception just because the cookies happen to be dipped in chocolate.

I know that Milanos are pictured here, and that was not one of the chocolate-dipped varieties that I saw...but isn't that a pretty picture?

Would you like to know what else I found at Jewel this afternoon? Mini Krispy Kreme Donuts. Chocolate, powdered sugar, and cinnamon. They look exactly like the mini donuts you've known and loved all your life—except they're made by Krispy Kreme.

Yeah, I bought some of those, too. What am I, made of stone?

!!!

2006-01-11T17:13:00.000-08:00

I took the advice of smart people I work with and used some of the leftover Monster Chicken to make chicken pot pie. GOOD GOD is it awesome. It's so much better than the sum of its rather homely parts (frozen broccoli, frozen peas, leftover chicken, Campbell's Cream of Chicken and Mushroom soup, milk, Jewel frozen pie crust, shredded cheese to sprinkle on top) that I'm just sort of sitting here in awe. WOW.

Washing it down with a bottle of Sam Adams Light is a good idea, too.

My lunch tomorrow is going to RULE.

Stop judging me!!!

2006-01-09T17:41:00.000-08:00

I so just ate yet another chicken sandwich.

On my way home I bought the stuff to make pot pie, but by the time I got here...my back hurt, and I was really hungry and tired, and...yeah. .:hangs head in shame:.

Damn that sandwich was good, though. Damn.

Check. It. Out.

2006-01-07T16:14:00.000-08:00

Bacon Chicken

I came across this inspired recipe while surfing food/cooking blogs. It was posted on the fabulously named Bacontarian.com.

I have to stop thinking about that now. The chicken is in the oven and it smells supernaturally good (actually, it's because of the onions lining the bottom of the pan), but it won't be ready for a REALLY LONG TIME. At least I'll be eating the liver soon.

This Weekend's Agenda

2006-01-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

None of this constitutes a valid Weekend Project, since I'm hoping to make it last into the week.

Perfect Roast Chicken

Yeah, I'll just be the judge of how perfect it is. And yes, I do realize that Martha Stewart is believed by many to be an evil criminal mastermind, yadda yadda yadda, but I've had some good luck with her recipes. I've also had some bad luck with them, though. I tried making corn bread from a recipe of hers, and it was the assiest corn bread ever. Inedible.

On my way home from work last night, I stopped at Jewel and bought everything I need to make this allegedly "perfect" roast chicken. The recipe calls for a 6-lb chicken, but the only ones available were either 4 lbs or 7-8 lbs. The one I ended up buying was approximately 7.3 lbs. Those Perdue roasting chickens are giant, hulking monsters, aren't they? I imagine they must be somewhat intimidating while they're alive.

Since I was buying onions anyway, and since avocados were buy-one-get-one-free, I also bought the ingredients to make guacamole. I ended up eating chips and guacamole for dinner, which, as far as I'm concerned, is a perfectly valid dinner option. If it had just been chips, then it might have been a little sad. But when you add guacamole? It's a meal!

The guacamole recipe I use is adapted from this one, by the way:

Guacamole

I don't use coriander, and I don't wear rubber gloves. I like to live dangerously.

What I Drank for Christmas Vacation

2006-01-03T13:40:00.000-08:00

The Mai-Tai II

I think it's called the mai-tai "II" because there's a fair to middling chance that you'll throw up not once but twice after you've had a few of these. Not that I would know or anything.

I like cookies.

2005-12-28T06:44:00.000-08:00

I ran out of Christmas cookies to stuff in my face a couple of days ago, so I baked more yesterday. I seem to be all about trying new recipes this year. Some of my experiments have been more successful than others, but these turned out pretty damn good:

Dark Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies.

Definitely double the recipe if you make these. I'm not sure what manner of being the original recipe is meant for, but I'd probably be done eating most of the cookies before the last batch even came out of the oven if I were to use it. They have a crispy, shortbready sort of texture, and it's hard to detect much in the way of oatmeal in them, since such a very small amount of it is used. The next time I bake these, I might try to add a bit more.

The Graves Meat Report

2005-12-27T04:22:00.000-08:00

Armour Brown 'N [sic] Serve sausage is on sale at Jewel at the moment, 10 for $10. No, I did not buy 10 packages. I did, however, buy two. Unfortunately, they were all out of the sausage patties and had only the sausage links, which are not nearly as good for making breakfast sandwiches.

By the way, here's something I've learned from bitter experience: If they're out of the "original" type of sausage but not out of the "beef" type, the beef sausage is not an acceptable substitute. It tastes nothing like the original. The flavor is all wrong.

No, this sausage purchase does not constitute my next project; I still haven't decided what that's going to be. I think I'm feeling a bit too overstuffed in the wake of my holiday gluttony to contemplate such a thing right now.

Mission accomplished

2005-12-18T20:12:00.000-08:00

The pound of bacon has now been eaten. At approximately 9:30, as my last batch of cookies was in the oven, I fried up the last five pieces and ate them by themselves. It was awesome. I regret nothing!

Serving size for me = 1.75 normal-person servings

2005-12-18T18:02:00.000-08:00

Am I the only one who makes cookies just a leeeetle too big to end up with as many cookies as the recipe says you'll end up with? Or, you know, to end up with 2 dozen cookies? Just curious. :-/

Still at 5 slices of bacon remaining, by the way.

Offered for your consideration

2005-12-18T04:45:00.000-08:00

I think that the combined smell of coffee and frying bacon is the most breakfasty smell imaginable—for me, anyway, although I'm guessing it's true for a lot of Americans. If y'all can come up with a smell more instantly evocative of breakfast, I'd love to hear about it.

Project in jeopardy!

2005-12-18T03:30:00.000-08:00

There's a fair to middling chance I won't be finishing my pound of bacon this weekend, I'm afraid.

Yesterday, for breakfast, I ate a big fat breakfast sandwich (3 slices of bacon, 2 eggs [fried in bacon grease], and 1 slice of American cheese, on wheat bread [so it's healthy!]), and verily was it delicious and satisfying. Maybe a little too satisfying.

I then set about baking cookies. It was a recipe I hadn't tried before, so I naturally had to eat a couple to make sure they didn't taste like ass.

Well.

After that, I didn't get hungry again until late afternoon, at which time I ate the rest of my pizza from the night before. And then I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the night.

To make matters worse, I'm meeting friends for lunch today. So yeah, I'll probably eat another breakfast sandwich this morning, but that still leaves an awfully bacon-intensive dinner on the horizon, if I still plan to finish it all.

Stay tuned! You just never know. I might pull a miracle out of my ass yet.

And so it begins.

2005-12-16T23:19:00.000-08:00

As luck would have it, Oscar Meyer bacon was buy one get one free at Jewel. As Daibh would say, I'd be crazy NOT to buy two pounds of it! Now there's one package sitting happily in my freezer while the other sits, ready for action, in the staging area (the fridge).

What else did I buy at Jewel? Among other things, a frozen pizza. Cheese frozen pizza. If you know me at all, I think you can see where I'm going with this.

Yes, that's correct. The first phase of this weekend's project? Bacon and pepperoni pizza.

It's not as if I haven't had bacon as a pizza topping before—I've had it one other time—but there's something extra delicious about frying it up and putting it on your own pizza, apparently. Because DAMN was that good. In fact, I'm now tempted to make a pizza covered entirely with bacon, sans pepperoni. That's right, you heard correctly.

Three slices down.

This weekend's project

2005-12-16T14:06:00.000-08:00

I think it's only fitting that I have one pound of bacon be the inaugural project for this blog. Yes. I have an assload of baking I need to do this weekend, and I'm likely to work up a powerful hunger in the process. One pound of bacon it is, my friends.

Testing...

2005-12-16T12:41:00.000-08:00

This is a test. This is only a test.